Posts (page 2)

     Cravings 1] affection from Robert 2] drama-free middle school 3] understanding 4] my fabulous home in Austin in three years T-T SO FAR AWAY! 5] time for correctly done homework 6] a friendship that's sorta gone... AUSTIN CALL ME YOU DUNCE!

    I wish that I didnt have to wish for things.  I want to see all of my old friends and and I miss them incredibly much. ♥

      Don't you want a day where you can stay in bed with someone you love and snuggle under the covers?

      AM I OK?!

      Let me explain my life.  If you do not give a damn, please leave.  If you care, prepare yourself. 

      The Good Things                                                     

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       1] Currently, I am passing all of my classes with either a high B(80 something) or a high C(if you can't figure that out, you're retarded).  2] I turned in my Ender's Game packet only a eight days late(or possibly more). Okay, I turned it in January 9, 2008 and it was due December 14, 2007.  It's better than the people who still haven't turned in shit!  3]  My Courage in To Kill A Mockingbird was a masterpiece.  Mrs. Smith, my #eng 1 pre-AP teacher, gave me a fantastic 83!  4]  This Friday and Monday there is no school, so I am most likely spending it with *tink* and/or ToT.  5] I finally understand Algebra!  I have a passing 74.(that's a C, I know) 6] I know I did extremely well on my semester final in German 1. 7]  I have a death- defying 101 in World Geography! I rule in rote memerization!  8] I know I excelled in my #Biology exam..  9] January 11 was Robert's and mine 8 month anniversary! *squeals* Eight months going on nine! Happiness! 10] Realms con is in September(nine months away)! 11]  My 13 year old cousin is coming to live with me in February.  Her name is Stephanie.

     The Bad, Hideous, Vomitrocious Things

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      1] My mother is still a little weak from when her blood thinner went all freaky.  My mother has heart murmur and her blood is extremely thick. She needs to take the strongest blood thinner and she can't get cut at all or will NOT stop bleeding.  So. obviously, when she started to get this nosebleed we rushed her to Christus Spohn Memorial(which has the worst service by the way, don't ever rush to the emergency room there and expect to be seen in less than four hours).  She had to stay there for three days. Sadness. 2]  My cousin, Stephanie, just might be a bitch, you never know. Plus, my grandfather is coming along with the slut of my 17 year old cousin, Megan.  She has two kids. I mean wouldn't you fricking have protection the second time!  3]  According to Krause, Akira's a hoe... His words, not mine. *laughs* 4] I haven't been able to visit Wynn Seale in flipping forever. 5] Tot might be mad at me because I told her that Robert doesn't particularly like her. 6]  I wish I could see Eureka seveN(it's supposed to be spelled that way).  7]  It's only Wednesday.

    So, I've told you all you need to know.  My life is relatively okay compared to the past.  Onward and upward!  I need to pee like hell right now so I have to go!  Okay, I'mmmmmmm Baacckkkkkkkk!  My point, is that I have no point, so basically it was never born so it went through uncreation before it was dead... O,o  L♥ve, Panda

I wish to feel smaller under your sheets.

I wish for the whole truth everytime we speak

and I think that if you'd care half as much for me as I watch you arise, smoke cigarettes, sleep...

I guees it doesn't matter what I say or what I sing

because you stuck what i felt for you in the pocket of your jeans.

Ignoring me the morning after isn't enough

and I think I'm going to cry,

I'm sick of trying to be tough.

And my blood won't stick to the confines of my viens

and your heart is going to rip mine away.

I wish to feel smaller inside your hands

though you seem satisfied as you slip mine down your pants.

And I'm thinking that if you'd care half as much for me,

you wouldn't lift up my shirt after asking politely.

And I guess it doesn't matter what I say or what I sing

because it's her you'll always love and it's her I'll always envy.

I want to end this now so dreams of you don't keep me up.

And my blood won't stick to the confines of my veins

and your heart is going to rip mine away.

I could pay important people to dig up the dirt with really big machines

and still I doubt you'd break down, I doubt you'd come clean.

And my blood won't stick to the confines of my veins

and your heart is going to rip mine away...

And we hide behind,
Lies, anger, Hate they shoo love away,
Build shells of ourselves outside,
It shelters body from cold reigns of reality.

Come on, step out, of your rind, assemble strength, focus.

Release and run to me. You can never look back to the visions from the
past, they fade and wilt in time,
You've got to just trust me to hold your hand through.
Then I turn and walk away.

Eclipse you are, bleed you strip you of your states of ain soph aur,
Eclipse you are,
I spit up on my plate and I push everything away,
I need.
And we sever all ties,
It creates disruption midst circle of friends.
I become the sacrifice,
spare your life and leave me to my misery.

Get off the cross, and save yourself, run away.

Run now. Get away from me. If I can get my grip I'll pull you down into
the hell I call my head, you'll never get away.
I sit down in my ugly place and build walls out of fragments from my
past of all the people that I needed and loved that walked away.

You've got to just trust me to hold your hand through then I'll turn
and walk away.

I walk under the clouds of gray,
Sphere of storms in my head,

I'm trapped again in endless rain.
I divorce the thoughts of you I love with me.
I divorce your innocence and my guilt.
I divorce the lying sellout confidence.
I'm divorcing every mother fucking thing.
I divorce the love bled meaningless.
I divorce the makeshift harmony.
I divorce the taunting acts of violence.
I divorce the pastime of jealousy.
I divorce control.
I divorce the faith.
I divorce the virtue.
I divorce the rain.
I divorce the excuse.
I divorce the greed.
I divorce the need.
I divorce iniquity in this mother fucking bullshit life.
Just want it all to go away.
Just want to run away to die, take it, myself, my life.
Text book fucking mental, off me and pitch me in a hole.

I'll always be your shadow.
And veil your eyes from states of ain soph aur,
I can't be the hero anymore.
I spit up on my plate and then I turn and walk away.
I spit up on my plate and I disrupt the family.
I spit up on my plate and I sever the entity.
And I feel your warm sun on my face.
Separate .

Eclipse you are, bleed you strip you of your states of ain soph
aur,
I need you.
It's always been this way, I push it all away,
From me

If you'll be my star
I'll be your sky
you can hide underneath me and come out at night
when I turn jet black to show off your light
I live to let you shine
I live to let you shine

but you can skyrocket away from me
and never come back if you find another galaxy
far from here with more room to fly
just leave me your stardust to remember you by

if you be my boat
I'll be your sea
a depth of pure blue just to probe curiosity
ebbing and flowing and pushed by a breeze
I live to make you free
I live to make you free

but you can set sail to the west if you want to
and past the horizon till I can't even see you
far from here where the beaches are wide
just leave me your wake to remember you by

if you'll be my star
I'll be your sky
you can hide underneath me and come out at night
when I turn jet black to show off your light
I live to let you shine
I live to let you shine

but you can skyrocket away from me
and never come back if you find another galaxy
far from here with more room to fly
just leave me your stardust to remember you by
stardust to remember you by...